The Real Peace Corps Experience...

OK So BIG NEWS! I mean, seriously! You all are either going to immediately gasp or just completely fall over laughing. If you really love me then you’ll cry for me…OK not really, but maybe a little. Hahaha I got my 2 year site assignment yesterday….meaning that I was told where I’m going to be living and working for the NEXT 2 YEARS!!!! Get ready….I’m going to be living in Metsebotlhoko which is off the main roads in a tiny village about 2 hours from Gabs (the capital) and probably like an hour or so from the Kalahari Game Reserve. Now, Here’s the thing! That seems cool, in all honesty I don’t know enough about Botswana to really know yet what I would rather have. BUT my program in the PC’s is still a pilot program so I knew that we would only be in 2 districts of Botswana that would been only a few hours from Gabs. A big part of how you learn about the PC’s when you arrive here is to talk to current volunteers…and rumors. We all here rumors and think we are getting information about our sites, placement, jobs, etc….yeah, well I learned in elementary school that rumors sucks and aren’t true and I should have kept that in mind! HAHAHA
I had heard from everyone that Life Skills people, me, were supposedly pretty set up. That I would more than likely have government housing which meant electricity at the very least and probably running water. I was wrong! OK, ready to brace yourself! HAHA I am spending my next 2 years with NO ELECTRICTY, NO RUNNING WATER, A PIT LITERINE (which is cement port-a-potty outside of my house), I’m in a village that DOESN’T SPEAK SETSWANA (which is the language that I have been learning for 4 hours a day for the last 6 weeks), and It’s a 2 hour drive at least to the nearest grocery store. I’m told there isn’t a place to shop in my village… also I still don’t even know exactly what my new language is and I have to teach it to myself. There is now written documentation for this language!!!! Learning it is gonna be a bit tough! BUT there you go. I signed up for the PC and I really am going to be getting the PC experience!!!! I’m one of the only ones in my group, (or at least I think so) that is truly living with no amenities! HAHAHA It’s insane! I’m not gonna lie, I cried! I instantly started to cry when I found that out. Totally cried! Not one of those, “oh my god I hate my life! Send me home kind of cries.” More of the I was laughing and smiling and telling myself I could do this while making jokes about how insane this all is…kind of a cry. I was having a “I’m in shock, holy mother!.” Kind of a cry! People thought I was funny cause I was crying but freaking out and laughing about it all at the same time. They probably thought I was insane…which would be pretty legit at this rate. haha
Its one of those things were its just such a shock, its so overwhelming to have to think of that the majority of things I have done my whole life I have to find new ways to do it. Cooking is going to be interesting. I’m not sure if I’ll even have a refrigerator…I don’t have electricity! I might have a gas one, but I don’t know. It was a huge blow. I feel kind of selfish getting so upset….but the truth of the matter I that yes, I signed up for this and I knew when I did it could be this…but then I got Botswana! Botswana is pretty modern and everything we heard was that like 95% of volunteers have electricity and 80% running water…so truthfully, it never occurred to me that I would be part of 5% that got nothing! There are people here that I’m with that wanted my site and the true PC’s rural experience…I was not particularly one of those people. HAHAHA I was the one that thought if I can help people and have electricity at the same time…that would be amazing! I was that person! I’m down for roughing it, but for 2 years….that’s a long time! Can’t I just go camping when I get home or something instead! HAHAHA

They say that every year there is a PCV that cries at site placement and I was totally that person. Which doesn’t surprise me actually cause I’m crier. I’ll cry at anything! Happy or sad, I’ll cry in a heartbeat! You all know that and more than most have witnessed it….many times! HAHAHA BUT I was laughing and smiling the whole time that I was crying…I think in a total shock. A few people that that I shouldn’t be upset because this is what I asked for, BUT seriously everyone mostly was like, “Oh my god! I would be crying too!!!! I wanna cry for you….you can visit me to charge to phone.” HAHAAHA Yeah! I know I can do this. Its not the end of the world and it’s not even enough to make me think I want to go home…but its just a shock! That reality that this is really happening! I’m really doing this! It’s finally sinking in that I’m here and really doing this! No turning back now…not that I could anyway…but you know what I mean!
My new village has really wanted a PCV and is a tiny village that runs off of solar power for their own electricity…so I think its mostly the schools and clinics that even have electricity. Which is where I will be charging phone from now on…at my school! Haha BUT the chief of the village and the whole village has wanted a volunteer for so long, which as kind of freaked as I am….and as challenging as I know this will be….I’m excited to be going to a village that really really wants me there! I would much rather have nothing then have everything and be in a village that didn’t care or didn’t want me there. I feel like its will be better to actually help change things and be with people that want change and that is way more beneficial for me! I found out thought that I’m in a tiny house but its in VCD housing which is Village Development Committee housing, which is meant for the policemen and court officials of the village and now me, I guess. HAHA I also heard that the chief of my village is really a cool guy and that I’m going to be living literally next to the Kgotla. Which is where the chief hold all of the village meetings and is known to be a sacred place. So everyone keeps telling me that I am going to be incredibly safe….so that’s cool!
The last awesome thing I was told is that I have lions in my village! I have lions that just roam around…mostly in the bush I’m sure but still. So, while I have my toilet outside….I shouldn’t go outside in the dark because of the lions. HAHAHA I’m serious though! Apparently the Chief wants to honor me with a goat’s head when get there, which here is a great honor, but I have no idea what I’m going to do if that happens. Oh lord. BUT all the lions have been eating the goats, so they might not have enough goats to sacrifice one for me….which in that case, I totally agree with the policy that it’s the thought that counts and I’m good with that! Haha While see though…
I leave for my site on Wednesday and stay til Sunday. It’s a trial to meet people, get to know the village and see what things you need to buy for your place. In a few weeks before we really go to site we have a shopping day in Gabs where we buy for our new homes…my list will now be mostly candles. Haha sweet! Haha Anyways, I’m excited to see the place and meet the people. I meet my counterpart on Monday. My counterpart is the person that I will be working with for 2 years and kind of a little bit responsible for me and helping me get acquainted with everything. I have no idea what I have really gotten myself into, but I’m in it….so here I go. Haha This is a bit surreal and a part of me that still has feels like I have absolutely no idea what is happening. That’s probably for the best to be a bit numb for a bit….or maybe a while. Wow! Yep! Think happy warm electric thoughts for me! HAHAHA

Dumelang Borra Le Bomma...

It’s been an interesting and different time for me this past week or so! I’m starting to feel a bit more settled in here in Botswana and the shock of it all is starting to slowly wear off a bit. I’ve had a few challenges with cultural differences and understanding my new role as young American women in Bots. It’s a new experience and a very different status that I now have here and as happy as I am to be here, I’m really realizing that I have my obstacles pretty lined up for myself and am trying to find the best way to deal and handle them as they come.

The realization is starting to really hit me that this I my new life for the next 2 years and the struggles and obstacles that I am facing and observing isn’t just a problem that I might be dealing with for awhile, but are things that really affect me! Things that I have to deal with and learn to accept in order to deal with them because this is my life now. I’ve never made such a drastic move like this before to live, so I’m still a bit used to thinking that whatever I come across I only have to deal with for a little while until I get back to my comfort zone at home….but this is my home now…at least for quite awhile.

I think that so many things that Batswana (people of Botswana) do are really cool and I’m really happy to be so integrated and so involved so quickly into the culture. However, I’m learning that even though I’m part of my family (a very traditional African family) and basically am trying to live and breathe Botswana culture…I’m still very much considered to be a representation of the “American dream” and being a young white American women…makes me very vulnerable to what the Peace Corps call, “unwanted attention.” I’ve had an instance recently that has made me very aware of my status and how much of an “attention” grabber I can be seen as to others. I’ve been getting some special unwanted attention lately and it’s been a little unsettling at times for me to feel so vulnerable and a bit like a target. My host family has been amazing though and has been standing up for me every step of the way and been at my defense every second. It’s Botswana, being white is being the minority here. I’ve lived in America my whole life and have never been the minority before. I think It’s a good lesson for me to have and get a perspective of what it’s like to be “different.” People here are very nice and welcoming, please don’t get me wrong, but there are some people that see me only as a white American female and living in a culture where men dominate everything and I’m considered the minority…it’s a big adjustment. I get stared at everywhere I go. I have men proposing and asking me to go home with them daily. I have people coming up to me asking my name, then shaking my hand, and then telling me immediately that they love me and ask if I will take them back to America with me.

I guess through situations that I have had lately and challenges of this that I have already needed to address, it’s just really made me think about my new role in my new society and how different life really is now. Like I said, the shock is starting to wear off and I’m slowly settling in, which is good but causing me to need to put some things in perspective. Lessons have been learned already and it’s only been a month. Haha I can only imagine next month at this rate.

Anyways, not to be harping on the not very fun things, but I think that its really important to understand and be aware of my surroundings. It’s a bit bitter sweet for me because I want to me welcoming, open, not judgmental, and very accepting of everyone that I meet…but I’m realizing that its going to take a long time to feel like I can find a balance of letting my guard down and feeling safe doing it. I think that’s how it is anywhere, but it’s hard because I don’t want to have my guard up or to be thinking of myself as 

someone that people will take advantage of. However, I think of now it has to be done. I’m in a different world, with different cultures and customs that I don’t know well enough yet or comprehend why thing are the way they are. I’m learning more and more through training, talking to people, and just being here I’m learning how important your upbringing and growing up experience really Is and how It shapes everything that you are to the present day. I spend my days in training talking about HIV/AIDS and the overwhelming epidemic that is currently in Botswana and the here about many cultural traditions that make Botswana very rich in culture, but seem to hurting and worsening the epidemic in many ways. Botswana’s government is working very hard to help the disease and people living with it such a providing free ARV’s, free protections, free medical opportunities…I mean, good things that seem almost unreal that with all of these free opportunities that Bots still even has a problem…but there Is so much more to it! The culture, traditions, superstitions, con current relationships, government jobs moving people all over the country, stigma, discrimination, etc… so many factors that contribute and I find it so overwhelming to think that it’s my job to try to find a way to respectfully educate through all the obstacles and work towards stopping the epidemic.

I’ve had a few moments of, “what am I doing? I can’t do this? No one can! We’re all screwed!” I have so said that to myself a few times and even to a few people around me…who are usually saying something to the same affect. Hahaha However, it’s like a few people have told me and the Peace Corps reminds us of a bit, which is that we’re not here to stop AIDS. That won’t happen no matter how hard we try. However, we are all here to get our foot in the door, to start the educating of the new generation to help stop it, to make sustainable projects to help people in Bots help themselves to fix the problem in the long run. Miracles can happen, but I think with something this big…it’s just not possible to happen overnight. BUT it can happen!

Today at training we had a panel of 3 people that are all HIV positive and talk and to us about life, discrimination, and how they deal with their statuses. It was really amazing to experience and listen to these 3 people that are so positive and happy about their lives. They talked about how they wouldn’t change anything and they have now dedicated their lives to education others and becoming activists against the cause to fight HIV/AIDS. One women, who is now in the AIDS stage, said, “bad things happen to everyone, but everything happens for a reason. It’s how you deal/accept the things that happen that makes the difference. If you love yourself and what happens so that you can accept it, then everyone will love you too and then life is nothing but a beautiful flower.” Listening to them all, as you can imagine, puts life in perspective!!! I mean, I’ve spent the last 2 days complaining about the huge stomach ache I have had due to the flu shots they gave us a few days ago…ummm, yeah, I stopped complaining after that panel!!!! It’s interesting how caught up in all of our little social dramas and own heads we get and don’t think and can’t feel what others go through. Having a stomach ache is not the end of the world…its not even considered big enough to make my day that bad. I mean, life is overwhelming when you look at it through the perspective of someone that is looking at death and permanent illness. Yet, it’s also an amazing way to see how important life is and how much it needs to be cherished and how valuable the people in your life really are.

Every day that I’m here I feel more and more like I’m realizing how important and irreplaceable relationships, friendships, love, and support really is. It’s everything! To feel loved and to give love to 

others…really is everything that life is about…or at least I think should be about. I know this is getting sappy and corny, but its true. Being a friend, being a good friend is amazing gift that people can give one another. In panel today they were talking about their support systems and how vital they have been to getting through this disease and to feel like they can fight against it all and have a chance. It’s a very surreal feeling to be sitting there with amazing people in front of me happier than ever and choosing to be that way rather then living in fear of the fact that unfortunately, they’re dying. I can’t even imagine what that would be like!

I went to Mochudi last week, about an hour out of Gaborone to shadow a current PC’s NGO volunteer and it was a really great experience to see what life will be more like when I get done with training, which I can’t believe is in about a month! It was so great to see a different perspective to the whole PC’s life and ask a million questions to the volunteer that has already been through what I have. Mochudi is a pretty big village, more of a small city village, but it was so mice to get a break from classes and really go work a little. I met some really cool kids. One teenage boy kept serenading me with 50 cents songs that then randomly busted out into “Uptown girl.” HAHA I loved it, but it was so random! I get more marriage proposals then I do “Dumelas” (Hello) some days. I often get asked if I will marry some guy and then take him back to America with me! I think my favorite was when one of my taxi drivers told me that he loved me, wanted us to get married, and then told me that if w did that we could drive to America right then and I could take him home to meet my mom. HAHAHA I told him there were a few major problems with that plan…like the Atlantic Ocean for that matter!! He laughed! I think we broke up already! Oh well!

I met some really great people in Mochudi, one of them was Unity Dow, who was the first women Supreme Court Justice in Botswana. She was really nice and it turns out that she used to be a language teacher for the Peace Corps in the 80’s. Go figure! I’m getting so excited to find out my site placement. It’s just about 2 weeks until I find out! Oh my Gosh!!!

There are a lot of cultural differences that I find really entertaining and interesting, cause it’s little things that in America we just don’t do. Like for meals, people are basically assigned the same plate for every meal. I’ve been eating on the exact same white dish for the last several weeks. I’m not really sure why its so specific like that, but it is. Also, in Africa there is no personal space, no personal bubble! You are NEXT to people all the time and the idea of a bubble just doesn’t exist. Which in reality is a friendly thing, but in a America, you totally have space! So, its not a big deal, but something to get used to. In taxi’s especially, you might as well be sitting on one another’s laps….same thing basically. Bots has their own hand shake! Haha I’m serious though, there is a quick but specific hand shake that people in Bots do, well most people in Bots. I’ve eaten some interesting things, but nothing like people are expecting…so don’t get too excited! I don’t have any goat eye stories, at least not yet….and I’m just fine with that! However, apparently being offered a goat’s eye is like the biggest gesture you can get from Motswana.

I’ve had a lot of cultural foods though like Phaletshe, which looks like really stiff mashed potatoes but is what they call Maize Meal. It tastes like mash potatoes but a little blander. Setampa which is basically raw corn, yet cooked, but still raw! I really can’t explain it much better then that. Last night I ate cooked pumpkin, which isn’t odd or anything, but I’ve never had it before. In Bots, you don’t deny food. I mean, 

people are typically pretty nice and the Peace Corps gave us tips on nice ways to back out of eating things, but really in less you just can’t….than you just eat. So, far I’ve only had one thing here, which is the porridge, that I just couldn’t do! I felt badly but I had to tell my host family that there was no way that I would be able to eat this! I can’t explain it, but it just isn’t my thing. My family was really nice and they try so hard to make things that I like, which has made things so much easier…especially because we have like 8 meals a day. They have tea time here at least twice a day, which is pretty easy to get used to having to stop the work you’re doing so that you can relax and have some tea and a fat cake.Yes, I said fat cake. They are just like fluffy rolls and as American girls we have finally started getting used to not feeling fat, while asking for another fat cake. HAHAHA

I’m making chocolate chip cookies for my host family again this weekend after I hand wash all my cloths…by the way I’m really hating on all of you that have washers and dryers…and showers! I’m so hating you all for showers!!! Bucket bathing should be like an Olympic sport! Its take talent not to flood the room when trying to bucket bath. It should be it’s own sport! Anyways, I made my family cookies a few weeks ago and they really loved them so they asked me to do it again. My friend Laura In the Pc’s with me that is living next door with her host family and I made them and between the trying to figure out the ingredient conversions, trying to study Setswana, and all while fighting against the cockroaches that I didn’t know were in there and apparently don’t like oven heat, fleeing from the oven! We successfully made roaches-less cookies and everyone loved them. Laura and I were proud of ourselves that the cookies weren’t roach hard…we totally gave up on studying…and are still laughing about the roach invasion!