Ok, So I don’t have much time but keep your fingers crossed for me that things with the grant finally take off. I had a meeting yesterday with one of the two NNGO’s after many sms’/texts with the two NGO’s that I’ve been working with to come out to the school and they are both planning to come out this coming week. I had a meeting with House of Men (the theater youth group that teaches about life skills) today and they had everything all put together to come out to my village to train and work with the kids in a 4 hour workshop for Tuesday! It was beautiful; I was so impressed and happy! They had an amazing outline for all of it…all 4 hours. They were so put together and happy to be doing it. I loved them! It was so great…so, my school head and I then went to Moleps to buy so many chips, cookies, and other snack stuff cause a huge things in Bots is that every time you do a workshop or any type of meeting its like a cultural “NO NO” to not have food offered! So, after we loaded our cart full of all these goodies that the kids in my village will royally freak over…forget the training…the fact that there is food will be possibly the talk of the village…Tuesday will be good (FINGERS CROSSED).
Then after days of texting The other NGO, Tebelopele (the Voluntary Counseling and Testing/Youth group to train and help the children learn all about HIV/AIDS and build their confidence), is planning to come (the head counselors, not the youth group yet) on Wednesday to make a plan/schedule for the Youth Group (Youth Against AIDS)…once again, fingers crossed! They are scheduled to come…I’ve been sending texts and “stalking” them for two months now…finally, the time has come…fingers crossed (Lets see how many times I can say this!)
We had a staff meeting at my school last week and after 3 ½ hours of discussing teacher like things in Setswana and me playing games on my cell phone we talked about the grant and about picking the second village to work with. I spoke with Sesung, our neighbor/sister village that the teachers decided on which is a village of about 1300 people…they seem receptive and I really like their school head. She’s great…so we’re doing the grant with them…but we’ve spent the last two months debating which village we would work with and I never thought the teachers would be open to this and would be ok with it, but actually came up with Mantshwabisi all on their own. I was so happy! It was great! Mantshwabisi is a village about 60 from mine, so a little bit way but it’s a primary school, which is a boarding school and from my understanding really needs help. It has a high rape rate among children, and high pregnancy rate among other things. The NGO’s I’ve talked to really think that PACT and our grant will be such a beneficial thing for these villages…I’m so excited to go to these villages that really need help and not just doing villages that are convenient …and more so I’m excited that the teachers came up with these villages! I haven’t spoken with Mantshwabisi yet and I’m planning to go this week and hitch hike my way there to talk to them and hopefully get them on board…I’m trying not to get too excited just yet since things are up in the air, but I’ve spoken with them I the past about PACT and they were really excited for me to help…so fingers crossed that they are still interested!
Not about the grant, I took the initiative and talked to my the Deputy Head and teachers at my school to help me finish collecting the Second Meal Data without the social worker…cause well, it needs to happen. This project has been going on for a year this September! So, we buckled down and told all the children to tell their parents to come the next day to school…they all did! I have all the data now for the second meal…AGAIN…so now I have to finish a new proposal that they are requesting from me and then get it turned it and then I’m hoping the hoop jumping is over…maybe on the 1 year anniversary of this project I’ll get it…but I’m not holding my breath on that one…but guess again…fingers crossed!
So, keep happy thoughts for me that everything gets pulled off and works out!!!! I gotta go now, I have to go run around and buy pens for the Tuesday training for the kids to use, finish buying more snacks, buy food for me to live off of in my little hut for the week, and I need to get home and take a nap…this whole actually working and accomplishing things (fingers crossed)…is exhausting!!
"These hands may not be perfect but at least I'm trying..." ~ the random lady sitting next to me thats doing Habitat for Humanity in Bots
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Let's talk about sex...(giggle...giggle)
A few weekends ago I was coming home from having been with friends and one of the STD 7 girls screamed my name from down the road as I was stepping out off the back of the truck that gave me a hitch to my village. She told me she needed to talk to me and ask me questions about something serious. Now, I’m not a parent but I had one of those heart stopping flinches that I imagine parents get when their children say things like that…my mind immediately went to, “oh my lord, she’s pregnant!” well, I wasn’t right, thank god, but not far off. She started to ask me in her broken, but really very good English, “if a boy and girl that have both hit puberty have sex, can they have a baby?” Her and I talked about it and I said yes and she continued to tell me that the two that are having sex are not in this village but are 13…I was horrified. I mean, I know this happens and I know that as taboo as sex is in this culture, children are sexualized very young. I mean, in reality there are 13 yr olds in America and all over the world having sex…its not just here. BUT me and my over protective mother feeling for the kids in the village was horrified!! So we talked about it some more and I tried to explain as simply as I could in the hopes that she will tell her friend that is having sex and is her age the information…cause really if the girl isn’t in the village, that’s all I can do…give my kids the info and hope they relay the correct info back to their friends.
The next day though the STD 7 teacher wasn’t in school cause she was doing grant/bank stuff with the school head so I did the protocol and texted/sms her if I could take her class for a bit to talk very frankly with her students about sex that day while she was gone..she replied, “of course honey…and better you than me :)” haha So, in the past and over the last year I have spoken with the kids here about sex and condoms and all those things that make you uncomfortable and giggle when you’re 13, but never have I ever had a full blown sex discussion with teenagers! Never! So, needless to say I was actually a little nervous about doing it just because I kept thinking what is ok to say? What are they too young to hear? Is it ok for me to even be doing this? Are the parents in the village going to show up at my house tonight with torches chasing me out of the village? I considered all those options and then realized that my job here for primarily for HIV/AIDS Prevention and this is a huge part of doing that job! Sex is Taboo here so I’m the one to talk to them freely and openly and I kept thinking about those two 13 year olds that are under the impression that if you aren’t in puberty yet, they won’t have a baby. It obvious that sex is happening here and at a young age…so as much I think they are too young to be hearing all about this now…they clearly aren’t and need to be safe. So, I jumped in and we talked!
We ended up having a 2 hour talk with just the STD 7 class which is only 8 kids, but the oldest in the school (13-16) and myself only! We closed the door because they didn’t feel comfortable having the other teachers hear their questions, which I understood. It was so great though. They were all so free and asked extremely personal questions!! I gave them a condom demonstration of how to properly do it, we talked about knowing when you’re ready to have sex, how to say no, when to say no, what to do if the person you want to have sex with says no, love, dating, relationships, respect, HIV/AIDS, STI’s, birth control, etc... The kids asked so many questions about a bunch of cultural myths about sex, pregnancy, and more that in America we would just laugh and think that’s insane, but people really think a lot of those myths are true and they should in a way if they have never been educated otherwise…how would they know its just a myth?!?! BUT the kids know now and I feel like I shouldn’t say what the kids questions were in this public forum, but oh my lord…kids really do say the craziest things!!!!!! HAHAAHA It was HILARIOUS!!!! They even laughed at one another for asking a few of the questions…but it really was so great that they asked such personal questions! I had no idea they would or even had that many questions. It was an eye opener for me too.
What was also an amazing thing about it all was that even though it was a small class, we did it all together, the boys and the girls. In the class are 6 boys and 2 girls…but they all asked questions about how the other gender felt in certain situations and how to respect and deal with the opposite sex and talked about it together. Rape came up many times in the talk because sadly it is very prevalent. It was a hard topic to cover. The girls especially kept asking me about how to protect yourself from rape and ways/methods they had heard of from their friends to protect themselves, which people do and which I had to sadly tell them those methods are actually hurting the situation more than helping which I hated case I could tell that really saddened the girls. BUT we talked about it and it was hard cause I’m lucky and its not a world I grew up in where rape was so prevalent so in the beginning I kept saying things like, “well, stand up for yourself. Say no! Talk with your boyfriend/girlfriend…” and realizing that those aren’t most people’s options! That’s not what rape is! You don’t have a choice in rape! Its awful! So, I ended up realizing what I was saying and how that wasn’t answering the questions that they needed an answer to…sadly, I didn’t have the answer they wanted. I couldn’t tell them how to stop rape! We talked about learning about beginning signs of a bad relationship, how to protect yourself, standing up for yourself, etc…those things absolutely need to be taught, but in the end I did have to say to them, “if you’re in a position that you truly can’t get out of and you are being forced to have sex, then do everything you can to get the other person to wear a condom.” It was horrible. I felt sick to my stomach having to say that and I debated even after I said it if that was right…in a way it felt like I was telling them to just give in…but I had to think of the reality. The reality is that rape happens. In Botswana to this day a husband forcing himself on his wife isn’t illegal. So for me to pretend like rape doesn’t happen or that everyone has options and there are things everyone can do to stop it is naive of me. So, as weird and uncomfortable as I felt to say that to the girls, I felt it was necessary.
I’m an expert by any means about any of this but I felt that that was one of those “do what feels right” moments and that what I felt I needed to say. Overall, it was a great talk. I told the teachers later a little about our talk and they all seemed very pleased that I did it. They kept saying that they know the kids need to know these but as teachers they themselves are embarrassed to talk about it with the children because they all came from the same culture so its jus as taboo and uncomfortable for them as the kids are shocked to hear it. So they were very happy I did it…but it seemed to inspire them a bit too which I didn’t see coming but was a really big highlight in my last year in here! The next day, we had PACT Club, I asked the two teachers what they wanted to teach the kids about and they said we should talk about what I spoke with the STD 7’s about with all of the Club which is STD 5-7 in my school. I was surprised but jumped at the idea of it. So, we had PACT and one of the teachers just instigated and lead the entire session. I never said a word. I walked around a took pictures for the grant of the club happening while 3 of the teachers lead an entire and extremely frank discussion with the kids about sex, masturbation, wet dreams, puberty, sex, etc…I’ve never seen or heard the teachers be this open and just go for it. It was amazing. It was one of those wonderful Africa moments for me, where through all the frustration of the last year felt worth it just then. There was a PTA meeting going on in the dinning hall, so we took the kids outside and did our PACT meeting outside in a circle on the lawn of the school at dusk which turned to sunset. It was beautiful. To have all the kids asking personal questions of the teachers and the teachers answering was just fantastic. It was a really good moment that helps me remember what I’m fighting for. So many moments I’ve had over the last year of breakdowns, crying, anger, frustration, and feeling like I’m accomplishing nothing…but then out of nowhere a moment or two kick in and I feel like I get it! Like I can remember why I’m here and what I’m fighting for…for me, that was one of those moments!
My Bots 8 groups had MST (Mid-Service Training) last week where we did three days of training and then two days of medical appointments to prove to DC we’re alive and doing alright (even though we were all sick at our appointments, some flu is going around, which by the way my whole village keeps teasing me I have Swine Flu). It was good to have all 50 something of our group back together in one place to hang out and catch up, cause really that’s why we go! It was also a bit of a celebration for the fact that our group is half way through…15 months down and 11 to go! I’m on the downward slope of my Peace Corps Service…I never thought I’d get here. It felt like forever. I was telling people I’ll be here for two years and now it really feels good to say just another year…not even a year! I love this place in so many ways and oh my lord the huge breakdown I’ll have when I actually leave, but I’m ready to move on. Two years in a long time with no electricity, sharing my water source with the village outside, a pit latrine, showering rarely…and I mean rarely, hand washing, my neighbors not understanding a word I say and Vice Versa…two years is a lot. Haha BUT it’s a good lot!
This is the MTV website for my grant/PACT Club that is open for the world to view. Not much is there now, but they continue to add more photos and whatnot as the grant continues for partners in the grant, possible donors, and anyone that wants to know anything:
http://www.stayingaliveconnected.org/pg/groups/usergroup/1624
The next day though the STD 7 teacher wasn’t in school cause she was doing grant/bank stuff with the school head so I did the protocol and texted/sms her if I could take her class for a bit to talk very frankly with her students about sex that day while she was gone..she replied, “of course honey…and better you than me :)” haha So, in the past and over the last year I have spoken with the kids here about sex and condoms and all those things that make you uncomfortable and giggle when you’re 13, but never have I ever had a full blown sex discussion with teenagers! Never! So, needless to say I was actually a little nervous about doing it just because I kept thinking what is ok to say? What are they too young to hear? Is it ok for me to even be doing this? Are the parents in the village going to show up at my house tonight with torches chasing me out of the village? I considered all those options and then realized that my job here for primarily for HIV/AIDS Prevention and this is a huge part of doing that job! Sex is Taboo here so I’m the one to talk to them freely and openly and I kept thinking about those two 13 year olds that are under the impression that if you aren’t in puberty yet, they won’t have a baby. It obvious that sex is happening here and at a young age…so as much I think they are too young to be hearing all about this now…they clearly aren’t and need to be safe. So, I jumped in and we talked!
We ended up having a 2 hour talk with just the STD 7 class which is only 8 kids, but the oldest in the school (13-16) and myself only! We closed the door because they didn’t feel comfortable having the other teachers hear their questions, which I understood. It was so great though. They were all so free and asked extremely personal questions!! I gave them a condom demonstration of how to properly do it, we talked about knowing when you’re ready to have sex, how to say no, when to say no, what to do if the person you want to have sex with says no, love, dating, relationships, respect, HIV/AIDS, STI’s, birth control, etc... The kids asked so many questions about a bunch of cultural myths about sex, pregnancy, and more that in America we would just laugh and think that’s insane, but people really think a lot of those myths are true and they should in a way if they have never been educated otherwise…how would they know its just a myth?!?! BUT the kids know now and I feel like I shouldn’t say what the kids questions were in this public forum, but oh my lord…kids really do say the craziest things!!!!!! HAHAAHA It was HILARIOUS!!!! They even laughed at one another for asking a few of the questions…but it really was so great that they asked such personal questions! I had no idea they would or even had that many questions. It was an eye opener for me too.
What was also an amazing thing about it all was that even though it was a small class, we did it all together, the boys and the girls. In the class are 6 boys and 2 girls…but they all asked questions about how the other gender felt in certain situations and how to respect and deal with the opposite sex and talked about it together. Rape came up many times in the talk because sadly it is very prevalent. It was a hard topic to cover. The girls especially kept asking me about how to protect yourself from rape and ways/methods they had heard of from their friends to protect themselves, which people do and which I had to sadly tell them those methods are actually hurting the situation more than helping which I hated case I could tell that really saddened the girls. BUT we talked about it and it was hard cause I’m lucky and its not a world I grew up in where rape was so prevalent so in the beginning I kept saying things like, “well, stand up for yourself. Say no! Talk with your boyfriend/girlfriend…” and realizing that those aren’t most people’s options! That’s not what rape is! You don’t have a choice in rape! Its awful! So, I ended up realizing what I was saying and how that wasn’t answering the questions that they needed an answer to…sadly, I didn’t have the answer they wanted. I couldn’t tell them how to stop rape! We talked about learning about beginning signs of a bad relationship, how to protect yourself, standing up for yourself, etc…those things absolutely need to be taught, but in the end I did have to say to them, “if you’re in a position that you truly can’t get out of and you are being forced to have sex, then do everything you can to get the other person to wear a condom.” It was horrible. I felt sick to my stomach having to say that and I debated even after I said it if that was right…in a way it felt like I was telling them to just give in…but I had to think of the reality. The reality is that rape happens. In Botswana to this day a husband forcing himself on his wife isn’t illegal. So for me to pretend like rape doesn’t happen or that everyone has options and there are things everyone can do to stop it is naive of me. So, as weird and uncomfortable as I felt to say that to the girls, I felt it was necessary.
I’m an expert by any means about any of this but I felt that that was one of those “do what feels right” moments and that what I felt I needed to say. Overall, it was a great talk. I told the teachers later a little about our talk and they all seemed very pleased that I did it. They kept saying that they know the kids need to know these but as teachers they themselves are embarrassed to talk about it with the children because they all came from the same culture so its jus as taboo and uncomfortable for them as the kids are shocked to hear it. So they were very happy I did it…but it seemed to inspire them a bit too which I didn’t see coming but was a really big highlight in my last year in here! The next day, we had PACT Club, I asked the two teachers what they wanted to teach the kids about and they said we should talk about what I spoke with the STD 7’s about with all of the Club which is STD 5-7 in my school. I was surprised but jumped at the idea of it. So, we had PACT and one of the teachers just instigated and lead the entire session. I never said a word. I walked around a took pictures for the grant of the club happening while 3 of the teachers lead an entire and extremely frank discussion with the kids about sex, masturbation, wet dreams, puberty, sex, etc…I’ve never seen or heard the teachers be this open and just go for it. It was amazing. It was one of those wonderful Africa moments for me, where through all the frustration of the last year felt worth it just then. There was a PTA meeting going on in the dinning hall, so we took the kids outside and did our PACT meeting outside in a circle on the lawn of the school at dusk which turned to sunset. It was beautiful. To have all the kids asking personal questions of the teachers and the teachers answering was just fantastic. It was a really good moment that helps me remember what I’m fighting for. So many moments I’ve had over the last year of breakdowns, crying, anger, frustration, and feeling like I’m accomplishing nothing…but then out of nowhere a moment or two kick in and I feel like I get it! Like I can remember why I’m here and what I’m fighting for…for me, that was one of those moments!
My Bots 8 groups had MST (Mid-Service Training) last week where we did three days of training and then two days of medical appointments to prove to DC we’re alive and doing alright (even though we were all sick at our appointments, some flu is going around, which by the way my whole village keeps teasing me I have Swine Flu). It was good to have all 50 something of our group back together in one place to hang out and catch up, cause really that’s why we go! It was also a bit of a celebration for the fact that our group is half way through…15 months down and 11 to go! I’m on the downward slope of my Peace Corps Service…I never thought I’d get here. It felt like forever. I was telling people I’ll be here for two years and now it really feels good to say just another year…not even a year! I love this place in so many ways and oh my lord the huge breakdown I’ll have when I actually leave, but I’m ready to move on. Two years in a long time with no electricity, sharing my water source with the village outside, a pit latrine, showering rarely…and I mean rarely, hand washing, my neighbors not understanding a word I say and Vice Versa…two years is a lot. Haha BUT it’s a good lot!
This is the MTV website for my grant/PACT Club that is open for the world to view. Not much is there now, but they continue to add more photos and whatnot as the grant continues for partners in the grant, possible donors, and anyone that wants to know anything:
http://www.stayingaliveconnected.org/pg/groups/usergroup/1624
Friday, July 16, 2010
Staying Alive Foundation grantees in 2008
This is the link to a video of one of the MTV Staying Alive Foundation Ambassadors that went to Kenya, Tanzania, and South Africa to meet some of the SAF grantees...people with the exact same grant that I got!
Diary of Kelly Rowland from mtv staying alive on Vimeo.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Money. Money. Money...!
Stress, stress, stress, stress, and more stress! I feel like a total nut job these days! So, in just the last week or so all we (and by “we” I mean, myself, my school head, several teachers and grants advisors in both New York and England) have spent about two weeks just trying to get all the confusion of the banking information sorted out. Its’ still not entirely, but at least by now we have figure out where the money actually is…yes, that was an actual issue!!!
I’ve been stressing myself out, I’m sure more than I should be, but I’m learning how to not totally take everything on at once…still I clearly have a lot of work to do with that…but until my mental health gets a bit more on par with other normal people in the world…I’ve been me and going a bit crazy! So, I’ve been trying to start everything up because according the grant outline that I had made for the actual grant I needed to start training like a month ago and getting everyone on board and on task. It’s funny actually, cause I read my writing and listen to myself saying things like, “getting everyone on board and on task” and “getting everything started immediately” and all I can think to myself is, “are you freakin’ insane, what has ever proven to you that going to happen like that???” TRUE STORY!!! Things don’t happen like that here and really can’t if I’m so scatter brained like I’ve been. I have to be the motivator of this project and be there to try to get others to care and be inspired to do it…so If I’m all crazy like then it isn’t going to go all planned like I want it to, not even close…and that’s what happened so far. We’re on the mend and this thing will happen, this grant will be successful even if it kills me, which I don’t believe it will kill me but a nice ulcer from stress or stroke possibly…I’m betting its not totally out of the question at this point. NOT.AT.ALL!!!!
Anyways, I’m getting off track, shocking, but…so my school head told me months ago when I brought up this grant to her thinking it wouldn’t really happen, that we could use the school bank account. A week or two ago I needed to get that info to the Foundation so they could deposit the money and we could start everything. I asked my school head where the bank info was because I needed to email SAF (Staying Alive Foundation) with the info. She told me to go to the school head’s office and school and all the info is there. She wasn’t at school that day so I, in all my hurry and glory of thinking I’m so clever to get it all done so fast, found a bank account and one I knew I’d seen before and used that info, told MTV (SAF) and they deposited the money the next day! Oh yes, I’m amazing….haha…uh…not so much! So after about several days of my hounding my school head about how we get the money out of the grant she informs me, “oh we can’t…the bank account we use is for PTA (yes, we have Parent Teacher Association here too) and only the parents in the village have access to the money.” So, despite my minor stroke after finding out not only do myself or the teachers have access to the money but there is randomly over 6 grand in the parents bank account. COOL!!!! I could feel the ulcer coming…
OK, so next step, my school head two days later decided that we were going to open a new bank account for “fundraising” for our school that gave only teachers access to the account and would be based in Moleps which is 80K from us where as the current bank account for the parents and where the money was is in Gabs which is about 140K from us. So, ok, great! I liked that plan…BUT we have to transfer the money. So its already been over a week of nothing happening. Finally my school head last week took 3 parents from out village to Gabs to have then sign and get out $6,000 or about 40,000 pula out of the bank account so we could put it in out new one. Well, I was starting to think thing might work out when suddenly I got a call from one of the teachers at my school that went to the bank saying, “Emily! There is no money in the account…what account number did you give grant ppl?” I was freaking! I was shaking! All I could think was, “oh god I’m going to owe MTV $6,000….actually my mom will cause I don’t have any money…she’s gonna be pissed!” yep! My exact thoughts!!!! I kept telling the teacher and my school head over the phone, “I took the account number the only bank account we have, I took the account from the invoices in the office…why is there no money. MTV says they gave use the money!” Finally, my school head pauses for a long time, I was on the verge of tears but I think I was freaking out to hard to actually cry, my school head finally speaks and says, “what do you mean the ‘only account we have’? We have more than one!”
OH DAMN!!!!
Yeah, no one told me that! It never occurred to me that our tiny school in the rural bush of Botswana would have more than one bank account. We never have money or do anything with money so in all honesty, the idea we even had one bank account took me back a bit. My school head told me she would call our Deputy Head and try to figure out where or what account I sent the money to, said she’d call me back and then hung up! I was in the middle of having my ulcer/stroke/heart attack combo as I kept thinking about how I may have possible put the money in to god only knows who’s account and kept imagining all the money gone and having to explain to MTV that I accidently lost all their money because I put it in some teacher that used to work in my villages account. After several heart palpitations, my school head called and first, laughed at me and then informed me that I actually put it in the safest account possible, but its going to be some trouble to get it out of that account. I put the money accidentally in the councilmen’s bank account. I gave the money to the Botswana government! How did I do that!!!!!!!???????? I guess we have an account that is with the Bots government and the Council so that if we need any official repairs or something like that to the school then they give us money to do so….instead I gave them 40 grand! Yeah! Pretty much!!!!!!
So, good thing is that the money is still there. The only person from my entire village that can access that money is my school head and she of course hasn’t touched it and I really trust her…so that’s good at least! However, we have now written several letters and made numerous phone calls to try to explain the council that we need our money back. Apparently this isn’t a speedy process cause, well, they are shall I say a little perplexed as to how we got 40 grand in pula from our tiny village and they are definitely not used to receiving money in these accounts. So, the process continues! That’s has literally been my last two weeks…We should get the money soon and my school head is on it. That women is a force to be reckon with when she’s on a mission and its fantastic!!!! We did get the new bank account set up so whenever we do get the money then we do have a legit place to put it…so that’s a plus! Its still a bit of a hassel, but I need to count my blessing at this point…the bank account has the school head and two teachers that are authorized to withdraw money from the account which means they have to go in person. 2 of them always have to go…so that means whenever I need money for anything from the grant I have to organize 2 ppl to go 80K on a week day which can take all day just to get money…which is a lot harder to get organized then it sounds…but gotta do what I gotta do! So there you have it.
Mostly I need to calm myself down. I’ve been sick with a bad sinus infection for the last week, I think just from so much stress and everything. BUT that has not helped the situation…keep your fingers crossed for me. I sent a mildly threatening text (and I mean it was nice but firm) to the social worker today telling him that he had to come to my village next week to finish this second meal thing…HAD TO! He said he agreed and he’d be here all day Monday for the whole day so we can finally finish it all…we’ll see what happens. I’m normally a very nice person, or at least I try to be, but enough is enough! I started this is September 2009…its still not completed. So, I’ve hit that point of, as nicely as I can, I’m not asking…I’m telling! Which actually seems to work more. I don’t like being like that but it gets ppl to do things more and then I just still giggle a lot to make it seem not as mean…which also, kinda works. Haha
I’ve been stressing myself out, I’m sure more than I should be, but I’m learning how to not totally take everything on at once…still I clearly have a lot of work to do with that…but until my mental health gets a bit more on par with other normal people in the world…I’ve been me and going a bit crazy! So, I’ve been trying to start everything up because according the grant outline that I had made for the actual grant I needed to start training like a month ago and getting everyone on board and on task. It’s funny actually, cause I read my writing and listen to myself saying things like, “getting everyone on board and on task” and “getting everything started immediately” and all I can think to myself is, “are you freakin’ insane, what has ever proven to you that going to happen like that???” TRUE STORY!!! Things don’t happen like that here and really can’t if I’m so scatter brained like I’ve been. I have to be the motivator of this project and be there to try to get others to care and be inspired to do it…so If I’m all crazy like then it isn’t going to go all planned like I want it to, not even close…and that’s what happened so far. We’re on the mend and this thing will happen, this grant will be successful even if it kills me, which I don’t believe it will kill me but a nice ulcer from stress or stroke possibly…I’m betting its not totally out of the question at this point. NOT.AT.ALL!!!!
Anyways, I’m getting off track, shocking, but…so my school head told me months ago when I brought up this grant to her thinking it wouldn’t really happen, that we could use the school bank account. A week or two ago I needed to get that info to the Foundation so they could deposit the money and we could start everything. I asked my school head where the bank info was because I needed to email SAF (Staying Alive Foundation) with the info. She told me to go to the school head’s office and school and all the info is there. She wasn’t at school that day so I, in all my hurry and glory of thinking I’m so clever to get it all done so fast, found a bank account and one I knew I’d seen before and used that info, told MTV (SAF) and they deposited the money the next day! Oh yes, I’m amazing….haha…uh…not so much! So after about several days of my hounding my school head about how we get the money out of the grant she informs me, “oh we can’t…the bank account we use is for PTA (yes, we have Parent Teacher Association here too) and only the parents in the village have access to the money.” So, despite my minor stroke after finding out not only do myself or the teachers have access to the money but there is randomly over 6 grand in the parents bank account. COOL!!!! I could feel the ulcer coming…
OK, so next step, my school head two days later decided that we were going to open a new bank account for “fundraising” for our school that gave only teachers access to the account and would be based in Moleps which is 80K from us where as the current bank account for the parents and where the money was is in Gabs which is about 140K from us. So, ok, great! I liked that plan…BUT we have to transfer the money. So its already been over a week of nothing happening. Finally my school head last week took 3 parents from out village to Gabs to have then sign and get out $6,000 or about 40,000 pula out of the bank account so we could put it in out new one. Well, I was starting to think thing might work out when suddenly I got a call from one of the teachers at my school that went to the bank saying, “Emily! There is no money in the account…what account number did you give grant ppl?” I was freaking! I was shaking! All I could think was, “oh god I’m going to owe MTV $6,000….actually my mom will cause I don’t have any money…she’s gonna be pissed!” yep! My exact thoughts!!!! I kept telling the teacher and my school head over the phone, “I took the account number the only bank account we have, I took the account from the invoices in the office…why is there no money. MTV says they gave use the money!” Finally, my school head pauses for a long time, I was on the verge of tears but I think I was freaking out to hard to actually cry, my school head finally speaks and says, “what do you mean the ‘only account we have’? We have more than one!”
OH DAMN!!!!
Yeah, no one told me that! It never occurred to me that our tiny school in the rural bush of Botswana would have more than one bank account. We never have money or do anything with money so in all honesty, the idea we even had one bank account took me back a bit. My school head told me she would call our Deputy Head and try to figure out where or what account I sent the money to, said she’d call me back and then hung up! I was in the middle of having my ulcer/stroke/heart attack combo as I kept thinking about how I may have possible put the money in to god only knows who’s account and kept imagining all the money gone and having to explain to MTV that I accidently lost all their money because I put it in some teacher that used to work in my villages account. After several heart palpitations, my school head called and first, laughed at me and then informed me that I actually put it in the safest account possible, but its going to be some trouble to get it out of that account. I put the money accidentally in the councilmen’s bank account. I gave the money to the Botswana government! How did I do that!!!!!!!???????? I guess we have an account that is with the Bots government and the Council so that if we need any official repairs or something like that to the school then they give us money to do so….instead I gave them 40 grand! Yeah! Pretty much!!!!!!
So, good thing is that the money is still there. The only person from my entire village that can access that money is my school head and she of course hasn’t touched it and I really trust her…so that’s good at least! However, we have now written several letters and made numerous phone calls to try to explain the council that we need our money back. Apparently this isn’t a speedy process cause, well, they are shall I say a little perplexed as to how we got 40 grand in pula from our tiny village and they are definitely not used to receiving money in these accounts. So, the process continues! That’s has literally been my last two weeks…We should get the money soon and my school head is on it. That women is a force to be reckon with when she’s on a mission and its fantastic!!!! We did get the new bank account set up so whenever we do get the money then we do have a legit place to put it…so that’s a plus! Its still a bit of a hassel, but I need to count my blessing at this point…the bank account has the school head and two teachers that are authorized to withdraw money from the account which means they have to go in person. 2 of them always have to go…so that means whenever I need money for anything from the grant I have to organize 2 ppl to go 80K on a week day which can take all day just to get money…which is a lot harder to get organized then it sounds…but gotta do what I gotta do! So there you have it.
Mostly I need to calm myself down. I’ve been sick with a bad sinus infection for the last week, I think just from so much stress and everything. BUT that has not helped the situation…keep your fingers crossed for me. I sent a mildly threatening text (and I mean it was nice but firm) to the social worker today telling him that he had to come to my village next week to finish this second meal thing…HAD TO! He said he agreed and he’d be here all day Monday for the whole day so we can finally finish it all…we’ll see what happens. I’m normally a very nice person, or at least I try to be, but enough is enough! I started this is September 2009…its still not completed. So, I’ve hit that point of, as nicely as I can, I’m not asking…I’m telling! Which actually seems to work more. I don’t like being like that but it gets ppl to do things more and then I just still giggle a lot to make it seem not as mean…which also, kinda works. Haha
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