Happiness is a destination, not a journey...

I figured out transport!!!! To most people that wouldn’t be as exciting as it is to me…but it really is exciting!!!! I can get in and out of my village now all by myself!! It’s amazing!!! I figured out the Khombi’s and buses and can get places when I want to…well in theory! It’s still me sitting by the side of the road at many different times a day and sometimes for hours at a time waitiing for something to show up….but at least now when I sit by the road for hours I really am pretty sure that something will show. It’s very exciting!!!!! HAHA The Khombi is the only way in my village. Buses don’t come into my village, they only stay on the main tar road which is around 10-20 miles from my village. I really don’t know how much but I know its really far!!! So, I have to go to Letlhakeng and catch a Khombi which from my current understanding, there is only ONE khombi! Which means I sit and wait A LOT and that if that one guy decides not to go to work that day…then I’m screwed! Which might I add does happen. I’m learning how to be OK with Botswana/Africa time and be OK with the idea that just because you want to do something that day or even need to do something that day…it doesn’t necessarily mean you get to.
I make plans and walk out to the bus stop by my house (yes, there is a bus stop sign, even though there are NO buses) and I walk out and immediately get a ride. Sometimes I sit there for hours just to end up never getting one. Its all just luck or fate or destiny or just the way the world works…I don’t really know. BUT oh my gosh….I am so freakishly excited when I hear a car coming!!! I’m slowly getting the hang of things and feeling more comfortable with my house and neighbors and everything! Its an extremely slow process and some days are great and some just kind of suck….but it’s like one of friends said to me the other day when I was having a hard time. “It’s important to really reassess why you’re here and why you wanted to do this in the first place and make sure that you’re getting out of this experience what you hoped. If you’re not then you shouldn’t be wasting your time or being upset for no reason.” So I did and I’m still here. Its been a struggle and already just in the last 3 months I feel like I have had more emotional, personal, physical challenges put upon me than ever before. Honestly, I’m glad for it! Now, don’t quote me on that when I’m having a bad day, cause I won’t listen and I’ll deny I ever said it….but I am glad to be learning this much about myself and seeing what I’m really capable of and also, really figuring out what I want out of life and how I can get it. I don’t think that anything that you truly want comes very easily. I think if you really want something than you have to fight for it and test yourself to makes sure that you can handle what you’re wanting for when you do get it. I don’t know if I’m totally making sense. I guess my point is that if I want to go and work for organizations that help people around the world…than I need to see the world and meet some of those people! However, I will say that becoming an actual adult and being thrown into all of this so fast…I do feel a bit freaked and as if I may have missed a few steps of transition in between. Like I may have jumped the gun a bit and put myself into a tougher situation then I can handle or are capable of handling. I’ve had a lot of doubts about that lately. It’s hard. I’m trying though…
To be able to really be a good and empathetic person, especially for people that I’m hoping to help one day, than I should really know how others live and what it feels like to sit out at the road for hours not knowing if you’ll ever get anywhere. I mean, I’m still very lucky and I know that while I’m living at grass roots I still have the things I need. Its interesting though cause what I have still is a lot less than the people around me. The teachers at my school have a bigger income than I do. I have enough to get what I need, but that’s really about it. It’s funny because the people I work with have more money than I do and even nicer houses than I do…and honestly, wear nicer cloths than I do. However, because I come from America and I’m white….everyone assumes that I’m living very nicely. People always tell me that I’m rich. They don’t ask if I am…they tell me I am. I always say that not, because well I’m not. I have no money saved or anything at home currently, so by American standards I’m not rich AT ALL. By Botswana standards, I am very wealthy. What I’ve realized is that when people here do think of me they think of money but, I think more than money, I’m looked at as rich in opportunity. I’m wealthy with possibilities and opportunities. The mere fact that I have been on an airplane just to get here is something that the majority of people here have not done and more than likely will never do. I sit around and plan what trips I might want to take or grad schools I might attend in 2 years when I go back to America while most around me are planning how they will eat tonight. When I really stop and think about it and compare my worlds…the one I was in a few months ago to the one I’m in now, because they do seem like completely different worlds….I have nothing to complain about!