I’ve spent the last few weeks in Gabs at IST (In-Service Training) which was so great to spend 2 weeks hanging out with all of my friends and having us all back together to talk about our sites and what we’ve been doing. I will say that as much as I love everyone I think possibly my absolute favorite part was showering! Haha I’ve forgotten just how fantastic showering is and having electricity. Not having to worry about where and when I can charge my phone and having to plan out every little detail of where is the electricity and water and when…was such a nice break. It was cool to hear about everyone’s site and how everyone has been doing. We have now lost 5 people from our group. I left because of safety and security issues, 2 left because they decided PC’s just wasn’t right for them and wanted to do other things, and now 2 have been medically separated.
It was really sad and is an adjustment for me cause one of the people that were medically separated lived pretty close to be and has become a really big source of support and laughter…and I found out last week that she was leaving. Its going to be a bit weird and hard to go back to my site…which I’m doing today and not go grocery shopping with her or hang out. It really blows…one more thing to adjust to I guess….or I’m trying to look at it as that she got me through some really tough times and now it’s my turn to do it on my own. I don’t know. I’m determined to stay positive even though I don’t really feel like I want to. Haha Peggy, my Country Director knew that we were close and that my friend kept asking for me so Peggy asked me to pack up my friends house on Monday and then drive with the PC’s driver to Pretoria, South Africa where she is staying with her stuff to see her. I was sad to go because a part of me doesn’t want to say goodbye, but I felt that I should so I did. The driver, Meshack and I drove for 14 hours in one day to and from SA but I didn’t even get to see my friend. The PC’s forgot to inform her that I was coming so she was off exploring Pretoria and no one could get a hold of her….so I went all that way and didn’t even see her. It was really disappointing!!! The drive did however reaffirm my belief that SA is a gorgeous country, absolutely beautiful! Part of the country side in SA actually reminds me of Vermont a bit…its weird, but cool and parts of Pretoria remind me a bit of Vancouver BC…not exactly, but a little…I love South Africa!!!!
Training was good, it was more directed towards our sites and specific jobs then Pre-Service Training was so it was good to learn more about the schools, clubs, laws of corporal punishment, grant writing, volunteerism, Botswana traditions, etc… I defiantly had a few realization moments about my village and being here in the PC’s which were I think good to have but still bit hard to take in. We learned a lot about Grant Writing and how to get funding for projects in our villages in which I really learned that you need an NGO in your village to get the funding…which I don’t have. Its not impossible, but really hard which was discouraging. However, more discouraging for me was the realization after talking to lots of staff members and current volunteers that because my village has never had a volunteer, is remote, has no resources in it and nothing formed or started…my 2 years is seen as just being the stepping stone so that someone later can come and really make things happen. Which I think is true and not all at the same time. I think that clearly my past goal of showing up to Botswana and riding all of Africa of HIV/AIDS and poverty….probably isn’t gonna happen. Hahaha I defiantly need to tone that down a bit...but I do think that some things can happen. My school has no guidance and Counseling program which it is supposed to happen, so I think it will be really hard, but that can be formed. I think that I can work to form clubs that are needed. I have no idea if I will be able to get some sort of livelihood for the village going…but I’m learning through this process that Networking is everything! I’ve been talking to my friend Max from back home and he is an amazing help and helping me figure out “Permaculture” which is a more sustainable way for agriculture to thrive and I’m hoping to start that in my village. Granted I know nothing about that, but that’s where networking and of course my lovely Max comes in. haha
I think that things will happen while I’m there, but I do agree a bit with the idea that I more than likely won’t see the outcomes of those things in my 2 years…which as much as I hate to admit is a bit difficult to really think about. I mean, we all come here and want to help facilitate change for the better to help people and we all give up so much of ourselves and lives to do it and then to feel like we won’t see the products of all our work is hard to think about. However, at the end of the we all came here to help others…not to do whatever we feel like doing…its not about us in a way…its suppose to be about the people that we came here to help. So, in the long run as long as we are helping then if we see the outcomes or not…we did do something. I don’t totally know if that makes sense….I’m tired and rambling. Haha
People keep reminding me that its about the village and the people and what they need…its not about what I would rather be doing or starting in my village. If my village needs food and I don’t know much about agriculture, then I need to figure that out….cause its what they need. Perspectives are so different though. People back home tell me to just stick to helping people and do what right for my village and for the people…but then the people I’m around in Botswana are constantly saying to just do what makes you happy and then everything will work out. Personally, I think that there should be some common ground between the two and I’m gonna try to walk on that for awhile…
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell
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